"Either put it on the table or under the rug."

My friend recently gave me this analogy and it got me thinking......when do we decide to put things "on the table" or instead choose to sweep it "under the rug?" I think this analogy can be applied to a wide variety of situations. Maybe we are choosing to speak or minds at work.....or simply keep our mouth shut to keep our job. Maybe we are choosing to communicate something of importance to our partner.....or let it go to avoid a fight or argument. Or maybe its choosing to tell the waitress we did NOT want tomato on our sandwich.....or just remove the tomato ourself so we dont risk annoying the waitress.

In all those situations, how do we decide if we speak up, communicate, stand our ground.....or keep our thoughts to ourself? I think putting it "under the rug" can serve a purpose, but its more immediate kind of benefits. You avoid work drama, an argument with a partner, or discomfort of the waitress rolling her eyes when you return the food. Sweeping it under the rug is avoidance. My mother always told me to "pick my battles" and basically that its not worth mentioning every little thing that bothers us. That we need to let go of some things and choose the moments when we take a stand or express ourself. Now that I think about it, thats a very powerful statement. It implies that only SOME of our thoughts and feelings are valid and worth being heard. It implies that its better to avoid than to confront. Better to smush our thoughts and feelings down to avoid. We may get temporary relief by avoidance, but ultimately, the thing is still under the rug. And the more we hide under the rug, the bigger it gets, and inevitably it spills out. Or we trip in the bump on the rug.

For me, Ive always been a master avoider. Ive perfected the art of avoiding all things uncomfortable or anxiety provoking. And although it provided immediate relief, it has ultimately led me to avoid life. Avoid risks. Avoid pain. But in the process, I also avoided happiness and fufillment. And over the last year or so, Ive tried to put myself out there more. Take risks. Stand my ground. Speak my mind. Be honest with myself and others. And in return, the universe has rewarded me with new experiences and feelings of joy I never had before. So, I guess, I started putting everything on the table. And I tried to stop being so hard on myself for what happened after I "put it on the table." Sometimes, when you put things on the table, people eat it. Or they push it away. Or ignore it. Or throw it on the floor.

I guess for me, Ive decided its better to take the risk and the discomfort of putting it on the table. Its better than hiding things under the rug to creep out later. So, what will you put on the table today?