In attempts to catapolt myself into a positive state of mind, I began creating a "post surgery" bucket list. Although im fairly certain these are the kinds of things I would put on a "normal" bucket list. Somehow telling myself these are things I want and can do after surgery, makes me feel more hopeful. Like the universe cant take me out of this world if Ihave a plan. If I have things I still need to do. Some of these things are out of my comfort zone or things I never thought I would do. Others, are thigs Ive always wanted to do. Things ive been avoiding or putting off for for far too long. And although part of me feels dramatic and swirly, I think maybe this surgery or my "impending death" as I sarcastically call it, is a wake up call . Its highly likely this surgery will be quick and have a relatively short recovery time attached to it, my swirls take me to a place of fear. And doubt. A place where I need to be prepared for the "worse case scenario" and plan accordingly.
So, heres what Ive come up with so far:
Get a tattoo
Adopt a kitten
Take a sign language class
See my nephew at least once a month
Build an actual relationhip with my father
Master a skill (like cooking, playing guitar or something crafty
Take a yoga class
Incorpprate exercise into my life
Quit smoking, for good.
Train petey to be a service dog
Travel to a different country
Learn spanish
Eliminate negative people from my life...for good.
Learn to drive a stick

Im sure there are more, but for now, thats what ive come up with.

I said before that I always wondered what kind of person I would be if I was ever faced with an illness, or "impending death." Mostly, Ive been worried and pessimistic. Ive been anxious. And avoiding all the things. But the last few days, Ive attempted to be more positive and action oriented. Making calls, cleaning, doing all the things I think i need to. So, hopefull ill continue on the positive train.

Who wants to help?